Growing up.

Since starting university about a year and a half ago I have noticed I have grown up a lot. Students get a bad reputation about larking around and drinking and generally being nuisances. However I believe despite appearances we do grow up and find ourselves. We meet new people and find out who we want to be together.

Some people come into our lives to stay and be there and become part of us. Some people are not meant to. Some people no matter how much you try are not meant to be a part of your life.

Until recently I had a really good friend. That person was a relatively new friend but we got on well and understood each other on a deeper level. Or at least I thought so.

I have learnt that you need to be careful who you trust. If someone tells you you are a very good friend and they are glad they found you when they haven’t known you that long, don’t let yourself get sucked in. Don’t transfer what they say about you onto them. They might not be the friend you think they are.

I have learnt that sometimes people think you expect things of them even if you don’t. My ex friend thought I expected him to be there through everything when all I wanted was a chat every now and again. A phone call or text would have done. He stopped talking to me as soon as he got a girlfriend so I know time wasn’t an issue. He had time to do things with her and she had time to spend with me but he didn’t. This should have been my first clue. He dropped me and cut contact as soon as he could.

I still tried.

Again and again.

No contact.

After confrontation in person I was left in tears over the revelation everything he had said nice about me was a lie.

I then got a text saying he didn’t want to be friends.

This is where I need to grow up. I need to accept not everyone is destined to be in my life. Not everyone wants to be my friend no matter how many times I try and how many chances I give. Although he is in the wrong for leading me on for months, lying and upsetting me and generally being a bad friend, I am guilty of allowing this.

I need to grow up and accept things I cannot change. I don’t need to be upset over one failed friendship when I have many people who actively look out for me everyday and genuinely appreciate me and what I do for them. I shall concentrate on the people worth it.

I hope everyone else here manages to gain courage to accept things they cannot change.

Whether it is friends, jobs, health or love. Although it might still upset you and hurt, acceptance is the key to moving on. And it takes maturity to move on and not hold resentment. It takes maturity to let go.

So I thank him. Not for anything he put me through but allowing me to start growing up.


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