When people told me that those people who were mean to me in school wouldn’t matter to me one day, I laughed at them. I thought they were idiots. I wore things people said about me and the names they called me like a badge of shame. I thought that everyone I would ever meet would somehow know everything and they’d judge me for it. I hated them and I hated everything they said and did to me. They dragged my confidence down so much sometimes I would cry myself to sleep. I am a very shy and introverted person. I think I let this be my excuse for not putting myself out there, not talking to people and not making as many friends as I could of. Do I regret it, though? The answer is no because I have learned from it.
Since coming to university, I’ve cared less and less what people think of me. Not just people I meet either, people I would call very close friends now. I don’t feel the need to live up to people’s expectations of me. I have realised it is okay to surprise people with the odder aspects of my personality, because frankly, it is what makes me me. I have learnt the true meaning of the phrase “those that mind, don’t matter. Those that matter, don’t mind.”
Now, if someone doesn’t like me, I can avoid them easily with this new freedom because chances are I don’t like them either. People are so much more adult about things. I haven’t thought once back to the bad times at school because I’ve been to happy in the present. I’m still going through a rough patch since my dad passed away six months ago, but I know now I am a strong enough person to come through, even if there are a few emotional battle scars. Since this happened, I’ve learnt the value of just remembering the good things. There is no point dwelling on things that make you feel sad as you just become more sad and make yourself ill with stress and worry.
I know this is a typical student angst found myself type post, but it is true and it has to be said. I love who I am now. That might sounds vain, but it is not meant to me. I have an element of self confidence that is steadily growing. I’ll talk to people, even if I am scared and shy. I’ll go out even if I am nervous. I’m overcoming myself and most of all I am overcoming those people that were mean to me. Words hurt. But once you have made good loyal friends, they become your barrier and if a few stray words get through then they become your salve.
I am so glad I decided to come to University. I think it gave me the kick up the bum I needed just to break away from the rut I was in and get on with my life. I love being independant now, even if my flatmates never empty the bin. I can’t wait till I move into a house next year with my lovely friends.
So my parents were right. “In a few years, they won’t be important to you anymore.” Forget years, try months. Teachers were correct saying that we will look back on school and think it went quickly. The further away it gets, the better it looks. Rose tinted, I guess.
Now I am looking towards the future.
I WILL be a writer.
I will write everyday, even if it is just for myself. I don’t care what people think, it makes me happy and keeps me grounded.
I will make my dad proud and do good things in his memory as he was a wonderful man.
I will do my best to be as good a friend to my new friends as they have been to me.
Happiness is possible. It is no secret. Just look around.